Temple Oracle

purple
settles into bones
a bandaged wound
seeping out the past

expectations set
purple in our pores
purging ink out
from my fingertips

you expose your crown
open to my
purple glowing
light of creation

they called us
amethyst children
indigo generation
purple every one

Oxblood gems
rattle in my chest
a slowly
settling
smile

Staining my teeth
with the color
of your lies
you are pulpy
sweet

Welts rise up
gore and passion
anger holds
no more
today

I dig into denial
shake my fist
kiss away
ignorance
tears

Ruby knuckles
bloody with fear
take in
my resentment
lust

Let me be
tomorrow’s fallacy
sinking
out of
love

He pinned me against the wall. Hot energy came out of his fingertips as his lips met mine.  Tongues tangled in our bedroom as he reached down and felt my cock, hard, hanging down between my legs. I was held back by my underwear and trousers, but felt him exquisitely. We breathed in together, released, pushed back… and I felt him reach his tendrils into me, through me, grabbing me and pulling me closer with every tug.

I packed a while ago. Packing- wearing a prosthetic under clothing to create the look or sensation of having external genitalia. Some people’s packers are silicone. Others rubber. I was in love with someone whose packer was made of layers of condoms filled with hair gel and wrapped in a nylon. Let’s just say that that went poorly when someone squeezed too tight.

I recently got a silicone packer from Good Vibes. It showed up beautiful- the caramel color really resonating with me. But wow, it was hard. Physically very hard. It threw me for a loop, having been used in the past to much softer packers. Mind you, that made it more fun for using as an insertable on myself… but that is a tale for a different time. I wore it that first night and found that it was hard to sleep in, pulling on my long public hair. In the morning I blearily removed it, without thinking.

During the second round of experiments, I put it in my trousers, and found that the lump was more ambitious than what I perceived myself to be in my energetic and astral body. And yet, it was good, so good, to look down and see my cock between my legs, held back by jeans. So amazingly good. I wore it for a few hours, then decided to take it out before bed.

We have a mirror just inside our bedroom, and as I stripped… my world fell apart. I pulled down my underwear, and my packy came away from my groin.

Flashback. I am in Portland, Oregon at Powell’s Bookstore in the men’s room. I have not had chest surgery yet, my 38DD breasts held back behind a binder and wearing baggy clothes. I pull down my pants and my packy of the time, goes bouncing out of my underpants. I leave the stall, pick it up as if nothing was wrong… but it was all wrong.

My old packy was great. Soft. Beautiful. And it’s issue… was that it was practically shredded by me (or my lover) pulling on it too much.  An issue that the new packer does not have.

But I am now back in my bedroom… and my world falls apart. Because I look in the mirror, and I am beyond naked. I am bare. I am exposed. I am standing there, unable to see the cock I so badly want and need on my body.

I fall into dysphoria, and dance into depression. I curl up, and don’t want to leave the bed.  I spend the next few weeks on and off looking in the mirror and feeling wrong. And yet, packing is not enough either. I pack from time to time, and it helps. But my world feels sideways.

The third time is a charm. I slide the cock into my underpants, adjust myself, adjust myself again. I feel firmly grounded. I walk with firmness on the planet.  My love sees me, and as I flirt with him, he flirts back.

Around the corner in the bedroom his fingers graze against my cock and I shutter. He smiles, playing me like a violin, and I moan. His body pushes against mine and he begins to pull on my cock, but physically and astrally.

I shutter and moan, moan and squirm, squirm and shutter. He is an artisan of erotic expression, an incubus with silken claws. I groan and push back but he is relentless. I build up. I ache. I cum.

Collecting my sighs
outside the monoliths of 1^st avenue
I finger wounds
processing forgotten prayers
plastered on the inside of my skin

Snow storms rise up
a flurry flickering across my face
coldness from my stony breast

Fears and fragility
coalesce under your tender lips
melting away my sorrow
sticking to boots left at the door
of our two bedroom reprise

Beat in time
the betrayal of my cold iron heart
piercing the fae within

Streaming tears
bundled in my red loomed shawl
I offer to you
to hold safe until I come free
collect them in the spring

Brush back my hair
kissing my brow with certainty
that I will return once more

Black winged glory
raven delirium
knocking loose the moon

Seasons push free
the growth
of timeless oak bursting forth

From a planted seed
dreaming madness takes hold
reaching towards the sky

Climb the mighty world tree
roots flowing with wandering wraiths
reflecting our ceaseless branches

Hang me from your powerful trunk
take me into inspiration
seeking our immortal light

Eternity licks the desert dry
curving hips of mother’s bones
catching every drop of blood

Ankle pierced and dangling
let me be carved for wisdom
ready to receive the waiting well

Peck open my eyes
leave me blind no more
the night unfolding in my arms

Dance me a web of stars
thighs spread wide beneath my wings
feathers falling across your licorice curls
tangled between moans

The sky shuttered
shook free its moorings
sailed into the night

Breathe in the musk of yesterday
devour tomorrow’s desperate strokes
decadence in emerald and turquoise
wrapping myself around you

The sky shuttered
shook free its moorings
sailed into the night

Spin me a net of burning gems
arms welcoming my beating marrow
with iron eyes and heart of jet
innocent with every taste

The sky shuttered
shook free its moorings
sailed into the night

Lunge into my taloned hands
camped around your burning flame
powerful in freedom’s flight
galaxies twisting  round my heart

The sky shuttered
shook free its moorings
sailed into the night

Collapse into my nothingness
of days before a rising sun
lips locking as we pill close the wind
angels singing in the dark

The sky shuttered
shook free its moorings
sailed into the night

You are my languid lover
mother of the ivory egg
mirror touched spread starry thighs
whirling out the dreams of life

You are my shuttering sky
shaking free the moorings of desire
sail me oh sail me
into the night

Spicy darkness
slides down
between my lips
as I breathe in
your heady smell
devouring
every
drop

teasing me
I push myself up
towards your waiting form

without doubt
you glide in
my head rolling back

ecstatic breath
filling me up
with each thrust

You spoke of fantastical truths
mechanized dervishes and apocalyptic trust
falling from a fertile tongue

I listened rapt and ravenous
needful of something to believe in
after a past laid to waste

Lurid possibilities escaped
from your fingertips and tattered tales
and I believed every one

Stories of the future were spun
that I gobbled up
never questioning what they meant to me

My ears needed each syllable
each word murmured from a fevered sight
clinging to tomorrows rambling rust

But by believing in you
I cast myself in and down
through pages of prose passionately writ

What has never happened
dreamed dry my wells
eclipsing the world around me

What never will be has left me blind
to what is before my eyes
beauty lost to your story book suffering

The trance takes me in
pages flip one by one
as the world passes me by

Come to me
spinning out of pens and keys
page on fire with your wit

I am inspired
lit up as the sparks fly

Wells bubble over
as my body is drenched
sweat beading on my furrowed brow
expanding with light

The ink dries up
crying as I long for your touch

Breathing you in
four winds by four of the world

Turning to the mirror
my eyes flicker to life

You are reflected
in the glass before me

The leaves call me
once more to soar
coming to myself