10 January 2010
I remember

Today I miss the easy comfort of silences spent. I recount the names of memories passed and hold them up to the light as desert winters hold me.

I remember stairwells as David become golden eyes, storm light reflected and memories of fallen trees. Whiskers and whispers brush past in the night and we wonder what if, what if.

I remember the strange and easy silence of sitting with Kwanza, bridges passed and past, forgetting what happened a week before. Forgetting the pain and just being, in a strange way, friends.

I remember being held as I cried in a red dress in a dimly lit room at youth camp, as Toby rocked me and he stopped pushing and pulled me in instead.

I remember laughing selves as water nymphs and mud monsters made love, laying under grape bowers with Adam as he kissed hope into my world once more.

I remember doors slamming shut behind us and mirrors reflecting back as 6 inches away from the party Craig and I made noise of passionate and furtive need and desire.

I remember curling up on dingy sheets after walking back from a promise, giving up my fangs in exchange for wings on a concrete altar while Max held space for me and we fell asleep in deep peace.

I remember asking for Hunter’s hand in marriage under a star-lit sky in Manly, his calm eyes and words offering me the universe, waves crashing in and telling myself I would be back here to swim topless.

I remember Dan and I at the hotel counter being informed that all that was left was the presidential suite at ICC. Of course we’ll take it, and send up champagne, being romanced with pure bliss.

I remember. I remember more than these, but today, today I remember.