17 July 2006
…and then I got the Goddess a beer…

ok, someone else got her beer, but I brought over the snacks and the wine…

Sunday morning I awoke after two hours of sleep at Gazer’s house to hop on a flight back home. My layover in Chicago left me with plenty of time to make it to Mass. Yup, once in a blue moon I still go to Mass, something I should probably tell mi padre, even if I don’t celebrate the eucharist because as I’m not a practicing Catholic I find it disrespectful. Father George McKenna did a lovely job speaking of the tribulations of Amos and speaking out to support our troops and praying for a call to war around the world. I was touched by his call towards finding a simpler life, as the loudspeakers at Midway called out for missing passengers. Lady of Loreto, patron saint of air travel.

Side note to catholic pagan crossover folks- Saturday is the Saints day for St. Mary Magdalene.

Back home my Furry One met me at the airport and we gathered bags and headed home with no drama, the first time no airport drama in… ages. I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall, but the reality is that so far in my day and a half home, everything has gone swimmingly and I am counting my blessings. We came home and changed, and headed out past Vancouver for Epagomenal days celebrations.

A piece about Egyptian Mythology. There were 360 days in the calendar, 5 seasons of 72 days. But Nut was pregnant and cursed not to give birth during the calendar year, so Geb gambled and won five extra days outside the calendar. Nut, after carrying her kiddos for 28 years in her womb, gave birth to five bouncing adults who came out ready to do their stuff. They are Osiris, Set, Isis and Nephthys. Horus was born in the same time of years many years later after Set and Osiris had their battle and Isis made the first dildo.

So The Epagomenal days are 5 days outside of the calendar year. They are also the Egyptian New Year. They are timed with the risisng of the star Sirius in the sky. In Egypt, this is a very different time of year to the NW, lattitude issues and all. Around here it is Early August, but the folks who decided to host the ritual ran it a few weeks early, so be it.

I don’t do stuff with Egyptian religion, not my pantheon. But my friend gift_of_isis had been cast as the living goddess, and the priestess for the rite was Isadorra Forrest who had officiated our wedding, and I’d been meaning to get involved in the local pagan community more- so I decided to go. I am really glad I did, even if I almost faded pre-ceremony from lack of sleep and long travel.

Folks had gone overboard on the penis theme- penis candy, cakes, pasta, ice cubed, phallic food galors, and ball-shaped food. Did I mention the first dildo thing? Osiris had been ripped into 14 pieces by Set and scattered to the corners of the world, but Isis found 13 pieces… all save Osiris’ phallus. She made a replacement out of mud of the nile and breathed fresh life into it and put it all together with her husband/brother’s other parts, and brought him back to life then fucked him silly. Yeah, some folks went overboard on the penis theme.

It was good getting to know some folks in the local Hermetic Society, and was glad to be part of the ritual. The default entrance chant? Osiris. Nephthys. Set. Isis. Horus. Who woulda thought ;) Lots of winding walking, and finally making it to the temple space where the five god/dess voices were waiting. Each read a good chunk of info about the god/dess they were working with… and I fell for Nephtis and Set. Wow. Yeah, I have been doing my chunk of ordeal work, and its taking me down some dark/left path stuff, including some demonic work with at least one specific gent… but the vocalization of the work of Set was really inspirational- the harshness of transformation, the brutality of the soul, the tough choices that need done and the honesty of the bleakness we each face. Nephthys, dark side of the moon, lady of truths between lines and dreams that are more than dreams. I ended up leaving offerings for both of them later on, and today ended up going looking for statuary of each, and upon failing got black tourmaline for my alter.

After the readings the Isis was brought out and her ladyship was invoked into the blue-clas Isis body form. Nile water down my chest and her lips on mine, blue petals washing down my tears. This was after I was hit by a feral growl and I walked away from the ritual just as Isis was coming in as it were- I got food and brought it forward for the vessel and its inhabitant. Yup, I do decent service, and yet again I went into service role as soon as a God/dess was present. Just wired that way. Something bigger than a breadbox makes its presence known and i want it to be comfty and not to invoke wrath… thus wine, choclate, dried fruit, and lots of music are called for and I kept helping it coming to her ladyship and the attendees. As soon as SHE left the building, as it were, my service brain switched off and I was back to being tired and thirsty. The joy of being bound… I speak of it tongue in cheek, but it is true, it is an honor and a joy.

Back home Furry tucked me in and we ended up playing, hard… and I’m still shaken up. Its been a while, and I’d almost written it off, oh me of little faith. What it took? The little things- acknowledging me as all of me even if you won’t play with all of me. Researching hermaphrodieties in egyptian mythology (Maat engorged, triple vultures), saying to folks that when not a lot of men showed up that obvoiusly I had shown up in the wrong clothes if they needed guys, etc…

It is the little things like that that put me in a good space.
At Midway a vendor called me Sir. It is the little things that make me feel good.

I am masculine and feminine, male and female. In acknowledging and laughing about both with me, and then still calling me his good girl, I melted and came like a fountain.

Today after hitting the bank I walked home, stopping to pick up essential oils and black tourmaline. Then the Furry One and I watched TV together, me having cleaned a lot and unpacked. It is- good.

So much work to do, so many projects to tackle, but I need to be- this. I need to be domestic. I went on a ledge emotionally today and bought myself my first chest compacting shirts online, I have no idea how I’ll like them and if this a good idea or a bad one for my chest dysphoria issues… but I need to find out.

Blessed be.