Recently I had a friend ask me to go on a journey for them to ask for information about their current situation.  I do this from time to time, divination or astral journeying, for those who I care for, other spirit workers, and on rare occasions clients.  I know too many professional diviners, and would rather support their work.

But this time it was my work to do, and I knew it when they asked, so 6 days later I lit sandalwood atop a black bear scull, set music to play for a set period (I have a pre-made series of mixes on my iPod for different types of journeys, with a call-back song at the end of each mix), cast a circle, lay atop furs, placed a raven feather in my mouth and went forth to fly.  I lay on my stomach, pen in my right hand over a notepad, and journeyed out.

45 minutes later I had a page worth of automatic writing, and a page of partially automatic drawing, and then proceeded to write up two pages of notes for them, that I followed up with 30 minutes of conversation with them.  I mailed them the originals, and kept digital copies of the work for my own records, as it was my first time encountering a specific deity and I like remembering such meetings.

But, today as I fly in a big aluminum tube somewhere between Nashville and Phoenix, I was reading “Drawing Down the Spirits: The traditions and Techniques of Spirit Possession” by Kenaz Filan and Raven Kaldera.  I came across the following page of information on divination and omens, and though it is what I myself often do, I found it well written and thus include it here:

(p 154 – Hearing the Gods)

When faced with really huge questions such as “Should I leave my marriage and family and move to Faraway Place X to study Strange Art Y for much of the near future?  Is this meant to be my path?” we suggest a “Four-Fold Signal Clarity” divination method, which is used by many professional spirit-workers, whose responsibilities are such that they can not afford to be wrong too often in their divinations.  This method utilizes both omens and traditional divination methods, and it looks like this:

First, do a divination yourself.
Second, have a friend who knows you and the situation do a divination.

Then have yet another divination done by an outsider who does not know you, your situation, or anyone else involved.
Finally, directly after the third divination, tell the gods that you are going outside into a busy and populated area, and that you want a clear and obvious omen immediately, within the next hour.  Go out and look for one.

If all four steps give you basically the same message, then you’ve got something worth moving to Kamchatka over.  However, if you start getting widely disparate messages, stop right there.  Don’t go to the next step or repeat things.  It may mean that the future is heavily conflicted and things could go many ways.  It could also mean that the Powers That Be want you to figure it out for yourself, or that now is not the right time.  Give it a period of days or weeks and then start over from the beginning.  And remember also that sometimes signal clarity just doesn’t come, because we are complicated beings with complex and ever-changing lives, and that’s just the way of it.

*

Though I have not yet finished the book, I am finding it an interesting read.  Large parts of it are things I already knew, but learning more is always nice.  I also have enjoyed finding out exactly where my thoughts on some forms of spirit work and possession are different from those who have been peers and friends at various points over the years- both Kenaz and Raven, but also the voices of many of those they interviewed whom I have had close and distant contact with through the Grouchy Spirit Workers project, Keepers Crossing, pagan festivals, kink events, long midnight discussions and in one case, the worker who threw the hooks and held space for my own third round of dedication to Bear.

I enjoy not agreeing on everything.  I find that moderate conflict and dissonance keeps me sharp- forces me to step back and sort out my own beliefs, knowledge, passion and power.  Have I thought a certain way out of past programming and habit, or is my point well thought out and worthy of defense?  Am I being exposed to something that will make me go out and research, dive in deeper, and find something I care for that I never saw coming?

Arguing is one of my more important tools as a student of life and academics alike.  I am the guy who asks questions in class, because it is how I learn.  I do not do it to take over a class, or assert my will over the teacher- in fact, when a teacher “rolls over” on me it is one of the most dissapointing things I can have happen for me as a student and learner- or as a friend gabbing until dawn.

For my strongest beliefs- love, faith, philosophy, hope, honor, sex, beauty, direction, art- I want to know that new pieces of truth I am incorporating into my spirit and soul are worthy of being incorporated.  Will they hold up to scrutiny, is it too fragile for my paws?  It has made more than a few folks stop being active parts of my life for this reason- I do not accept simple “um because” answers on the above stuff.  I want to know why, I want to know if it is worth fighting for.  If I love someone, and want to support their dreams and visions to their fullest, I need to know they really truly want what they are pursing.  Otherwise, me sinking my energy into it fully, investing in all they are and are doing, only to have it just get dropped… sometimes I feel like it was a bit of a waste of a precious resource.

I expect others to argue my work and passions out with me as well.  I want strong personalities in my inner circle who have the intellectual and emotional capacity to call me on my shit, and know once its been determined that something is a core truth for me, that that thing is a precious one that should never be stepped on.

This is why I do not date atheists any more.  Fuck them, be friends with them, sure.  But not date and devote a partnership and connection to.  Why?  Because as a spirit worker, collared to Bear, a very real spirit and neolithic deity, my Work dedicated to Her honor and truths- I need to know that someone believes in divinity on some level.  I am a doorway opener, a clearer of ways, a healer of spirits.  In Her name I dismantle false visions, plant seeds for potential, create spaces for potential to be pursued.  I implement my excellence in Her name.

If someone does not believe in divinity, in God(s), how can I work for one?

How can it be understood that, no, I really have to up and leave and go do this Work, now.  That I must take this Job, travel to this location, sit outside this store, spend two days straight creating devotional art.  Must.  These are required.  Not just desires.

Not just madness.

I am neurologically non-normative, but the God(s) are real.  Divinity is real.  And this makes dating atheists no longer an option for me sadly.

Signal Clarity is a strange and beautiful thing.

Sometimes when we draw the cards, cast the lots, open our heads to visions, we do not get the answers we wanted.  We get answers.

We get answers.

Or… we don’t.

Because as Kenaz and Raven said – we are complicated beings with complex and ever-changing lives, and that’s just the way of it.