i remember you
my eyes locked in rapture
as you took the stage

tweed clung to my thigh
like a hungry lover
devouring each sigh

as we gathered
you cleared your throat
and i could not look away

i remember
the magic you painted
that I could never have


i remember me
three nights later
tears streaming down

tweed clung to my thigh
like a desperate man
afraid to let go

i let go

of it all


cold water clung to my thigh
cold water clung to my skin
i drifted down
and for some reason
thought of you


what a strange memory
to end on
of sitting around you

not the memory of his screams
not my mother
not the tears
not the sorrow

no aldous
it was you
with my last breath


i was wide eyed in wonder
breathing in life
three hours
three days before the end
three wishes made true

let me dance
let me know
let me elate

and i had

the last two at your feet


when water rushes in
it chokes
then presses down

swallow me aldous
swallow me whole
take me down your lanes of dream
to where I danced
but never tasted

swall me aldous
swallow me deep
take me past cacti and mushroom
to where you danced
and in my heart i called home



in the end

not the gnawing anguish
not years of malaise
mixed with stifling depression

in the end

and you
and you