I am doing an online Feri course, my responses to lesson #1 thus far, as posted to the list

So, I was having challenges with both the notion of “negative energy” (as I rambled about before) and the notion of evil, in the email’d homework for lesson #1.

I then decided to see if the book from veedub (Dustbunnies Big damn handbook volume 1) had anything further, and gosh, did it.

In Making Kala, specifically, it had her chant:
“Hekate, Kali Ma, Lady of the Three Roads and the Spaces Between,
Take my sorrows and turn them into coals for Hestia’s fire.
Holy Mother, purify me in spirit, in thought, in feeling, in action.”

She then discusses the idea of Shower Kala, of instead of working with a cup, to work with hands in a heart-shape over the chest.

In both, is the idea that Making Kala is not over until *after* urination post-rite. That every act of excretion is a sacred act, as is eating and sex.

This summer I did a rite at an event called Dark Odyssey in Maryland, where I had individuals ball up into an energetic seed that which did not serve them any more, but might serve the world in some way. I have always been baffled at the word “dirty” as meaning “bad” in our culture. Dirt is that in which seeds grow, possibilities take place.

Thus, in my reading of the exercise, what is being asked of me at least is to take the energy that is not serving me, and in the water transform it into that which can serve me and the Work I do, or, if it can not, to lay it at Hestia’s feet as coal to fire up the hearth of universal love and potential.

It was also very useful to me to know that this work was once done with a raw egg instead of a visualized egg. The idea of consumption in this way makes more sense to my brain for some reason.

I am still unable to do the HA prayer, however, due to my personal notions on the word evil. I agree with the concept of the prayer, but as in all humans, certain words illicit certain reactions from me… and good and evil are two of those words for me. I can rationally replace “evil” with “that which does not serve the Work I do for those I serve and my own true journey of my being in all its parts” and “good” with “that which serves the Work I do for those I serve and my own true journey of my being in all its parts” but gosh, thats a mouthful.

In addition, I am uncertain at the following ideas as well for the HA prayer:

“You are the highest, best and most perfect part of me” – if the three souls of our being-ness are each of value, and all must be heard/in balance to be able to be aligned, and so many folk seem to poo-poo the power of the Talker (who is also the Listener)- why are we lifting up the Godself on this pedestal? I concur with the notion that the Godself is our connection to the conduit of the divine, and that we are each divine. But that it is the best and most perfect part of me? Sometimes it would seem that all 3 souls have perfection within them, and only with all three working together can I acheive my highest, best, most perfect self.

As a fabulously queer human, I’m also a tad off on “all 3 souls are straight within me” – when honey, so not true. Thus, I’m using the term aligned.

So yeah, just a few thoughts and uncertainties I am chewing on today, having sat down to do the first lesson’s homework round 1 yesterday and found that though agree with the concept of each, the language is off for my personal use. I agree that acknowledging my Godself, my Talker and my fetch, and making each aware of the other, is important for a daily practice. I agree that taking energy that is not serving us and processing it so it can serve us in our Work in this world is really bloody important. I agree that asking for what my fully integrated and aligned selves know to be best, over my rational mind’s perceptions of what I might need, is also important.

The rest, I’m uncertain on. Thoughts on re-writing all prayers to serve our lexicons? Is it important in these practices to say specific things, or do specific activities?